In the New Year

David,

I know that I write these Emails because I want to express how I feel. Some people have a journal or like you an online blog I do it with these Emails because I want to always remember somehow how I felt at this point and time.

I can not believe how lucky I have been in finding you. I am just remembering how things started and I don't think I let you know how it really was for me last night but I was thinking about it this morning, the first IM that I sent you it was because you were someone who I thought I could be friends with, but by the time that you asked me on our first date I felt like you were someone that I might have a chance of having a relationship with. When I first saw you I can remember thinking that you were much better looking than the pictures that you had on cupid. When we were on our first date I do remember thinking that it was going great that you were a great person to be around and just hoping that you felt the same way. After making out on the park bench I was very hopeful that you would want to see me again and thankfully you did. I had no idea at the end of that night that I would feel the way that I feel about you now, just 3 months later. I was before I met you in the mind set that I would be alone for a long time and I was alright with that. I also never imagined that I would be talking about having someone join my children's life after just a short period of time, but with you it just feels so perfect like I have been waiting for us to happen for a very long time.

I know I told you last night but I want to tell you again, when I talk to you sometimes about how I feel about us I really do get very emotional, it is really just because I never knew that I would met someone who would be everything that you are. I did not know that I could feel this way about another person who was not a member of my family.

I also believe that our insecurities will help us along the way to not take each other for granted. Even though I know that what your fear is, it is not something that is going to happen because to me your not just a guy with a cool accent who happens to be good looking and turns me on but you are someone who knows how to and does make me so happy, knows how to make me laugh, listens to my fears, offers me the right advice, shows his love for me in public and puts up with my quirks. Having these fears will make us work on our relationship and not just assume that having a relationship is easy. I can admit that I have had some fears that I have not told you about and they are still there, I think about the fact that this is to great to be happening to me and it could be some big con and one day your going to say, "well now I know you really love me I am done with you". I know that is a different one but it is one that I have had. Even when I write these Emails I am scared that I will write things that will make you want to turn and run the other way. That I am being to open with my feelings and it may scare you or make you feel that I am to overbearing.

I understand as well that this is not always going to be easy we are going to become a household of 7 different people with different needs and wants but as long as we stay strong in our relationship to each other we can be the parents that our children need. Yes I am going to fuck up sometimes but my whole aim is to be the best parent I know to our children. I know falling in love with your children will be easy for me and I know that my children are going to adore you.

I love you and I am thankful every day since I met you for having the chance to be with you. It feels so great to be with you, its wonderful to love you and have you love me back, its great having someone who laughs at the same things, who has the same way of social thinking as me. Settling down was a scary place to be in but its a place I am happy to be in with you now, its a natural progression in our relationship and I admit that I did freak out when you wrote it the first time . To me now it means that we being our true self, that we no longer feel like we need to always be the perfect person we think the other one is looking for, its awesome to know that you accept me for who I am, since I love who you are.

I am looking forward to what is coming for us.